Thursday, October 28, 2021

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This Year’s Best Halloween Decorations

It’s finally that time of year to make your house look absolutely terrifying, all with 100% support from your neighbors. As it turns out, they don’t like it when you install a graveyard on your lawn in July, so I go all out with my Halloween decorations. I spend every October trying my best to scare the trick-or-treaters away before they even reach my Baphomet door knocker.

Halloween is great because you can be as wild as you want with your decorations, with some people going as far as completely transforming their entire property. I’ve come up with some basic ideas for you here in this article, but there’s still an opportunity for you to show your talent for the macabre. It’s the perfect season to be creative, so let’s see what you’ve got!

What about these spooky holographic witches that you can project from your windows? Or, maybe you need some tools to help carve that perfect pumpkin? Either way, El Noche has you covered with this year’s Halloween decoration breakdown.

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This Set Of Massive Fake Spiders Is Guaranteed To Spook Any Arachnophobes

Despite being one of the most brutal creatures on the planet, I understand spiders are 100% necessary to our ecosystem. That being said, these massive lawn spiders are sure to scare all the children on your block. Something about their long furry legs and evil red eyes is extremely off-putting to me, and I’m a full grown adult. For under $20, these bad boys are a good way to get your Halloween decorations moving in the right direction.


If You Have Giant Spiders, You’ll Need A Giant Web

A cheap way to knock those spiders into the next level is to cover your yard in this fake webbing. The package says it can cover over 800 feet, so once you’re all set up it will look absolutely terrifying. Another good move is to buy a whole bunch of tiny plastic spiders to make extra spooky. I bet no trick-or-treaters even come close to your house…unless they find out you have king-size bars. Do you have king-size bars? One thing: try to avoid placing this in trees or brushes, as it can be harmful to actual creepy crawlies.


Always Have A Dead Body In The Driveway

Why wouldn’t you want this dead body under a bloody sheet? It’s horrifying! Make the trick-or-treaters walk past it on their way to the door, and maybe they’ll run away in fear. It’s a classic scare that’s guaranteed to work time and time again. This will be perfect if you end up getting the crime scene tape and investigation supplies.


Get A Projector And Project Scary Stuff On To The Side Of Your House

Who doesn’t want to own a projector? Well, Halloween is a good excuse to pick one up. Not only can you project creepy stuff onto the side of your house, but you can also use it to create holographic ghosts in your windows using this cool kit. Then, when Halloween is over, you can move the projector into the game room and use it to NiGHTS on your old Sega Saturn.


Use Your New Projector With This Holographic Horror Kit And Project 3D Magic Rituals From Your Bedroom Window

This thing is awesome! Yes, it’s the holographic screen I was talking about in the previous review, and yes: I love it. We used one of these kits last year and it looked awesome, like there was a real witch up there doing bad stuff. You have to see it to believe it! Who doesn’t want to scare the neighborhood with realistic witches making potions in their home? A Halloween Scrooge, that’s who.


These Window Decals Are Quick And Easy Halloween Decorations!

Be sure to cover up all your other windows not occupied by witches with these cool plastic decals that look like tormented bodies trying to escape. They don’t have any adhesive, so you don’t have to worry about residue left on the windows. Just a few sprays of soapy water, and these will stay up for however long you need. When it’s time to take down the Halloween decorations, just peel off and wipe down the window. Easy peasy.


Reusable Blood Bags That Are Perfect For Serving Drinks At Your Halloween Party

These refillable blood bags are perfect for spooky mixed drinks at your Halloween party. Imagine how scared everyone will be when they see your fridge filled with dark red blood bags of blood to drink — and for extra goofs, try not to break character and maintain that it’s real blood all night.


Dangle This Corpse From A Tree And Scare Everyone In The Neighborhood

Nothing scarier than a mummified corpse covered in spiders hanging from the wall, at least in my opinion. That’s why I hang two of these next to my front door. They work very well as a deterrent against the hordes of sugar-addled children on Halloween. More spider-infused mummies terrifying the trick-or-treaters = more candy for me later.


Hauntingly Illuminate Your House With These Two App-Controlled LED Floodlights

Light up your haunted abode with these outdoor LED floodlights, creating the ambiance necessary to freak out Halloween’s ghoulish guests. You can control each light individually through an app, where you can also choose from over 16 million colors and adjust the brightness via a dimmer. If you have a large property, consider getting the upgraded 40-watt version for only a few bucks more.


Don’t Forget To Scatter Some Body Parts Around Your Property

Give me a good reason why you wouldn’t need a bunch of bloody body parts thrown around your yard. You can put some crime scene investigation markers next to them and add some blood, it’ll look awesome. The more realistic, the better.


You’ll Definitely Need A Bottle Of Fake Blood For Effective Halloween Decorations

I mean, let’s be honest: you’re going to need some blood for the realism. You can’t have all this gore and fear without some blood, so pick up a few bottles. The more blood, the more fear! The more fear, the more candy I get to keep for myself.


Use A Fog Machine To Ramp Up The Spookiness Inside (Or Outside) Your House

A fog machine is basically the soul of a good haunted house, so why wouldn’t you want one blasting your front lawn? Better yet, you should blast this thing near your front door so any souls brave enough to make it all the way to the doorbell will have one final spook! It’ll be worth the effort, plus you can get specialized low-hanging fog like this!


If You Plan On Carving Some Pumpkins, Make Sure You Have The Right Tools!

Stop carving pumpkins with a kitchen knife. Not only does it not work very well, but the results are almost always embarrassing. If you want to upgrade your skills from horrifying by accident to terrifying on purpose, you need to buy this pumpkin carving toolkit. You’ll easily slice, carve, and scoop like a pro. Please don’t let your pumpkins rot without good reason, be proud of your work! Make lawn art, not a lawn dart target.


Give Trick-Or-Treaters Pause With This Baphomet Door Knocker

What’s scarier than knocking on the Devil’s door? Well, your house could be scarier if you just utilized this brutal-looking Baphomet door knocker. It’s made from durable resin with a stainless steel knocker, so this thing has some real weight and feels very nice when you give it a swing. This bad boy also has the mark of the beast very visible, which is just another way to prevent those sugar thieves from getting to your candy bowl!


1000 Feet Of Crime Scene Tape Wrapped Around Your Property Is A Cheap Way To Increase Fear

Make your front yard the crime scene you always dreamed of by covering every square inch in this police-grade line tape. While it may not be a part of the traditional idea of Halloween decorations, this tape will absolutely work as intended! There are several classic variations to chose from, but I think the “CRIME SCENE DO NOT CROSS” is the most effective. “POLICE LINE DO NOT CROSS” has a similar ring to it, in my opinion. At the end of the day, we are trying to scare trick-or-treaters away from your property and leave you with more candy after Halloween night. Checkmate, candy-centric holidays!


You Could Use This Kit To Create A Fake Crime Scene

Add some realism to your front lawn crime scene with these police-like investigation bags. These work great as Halloween decorations because you add a spook to any spot on the ground. Wrap your lawn in the police line tape from earlier, and use this kit to create your crime scene. Then pop that covered corpse nearby, and you’ll have one heck of a setup!


Put This Great Sounding Portable Speaker In The Woods And Play Scary Audio

This past summer I went camping with a big group of friends. At one point, with only half of us around, somebody took one of these speakers and hid it in the woods. Then, when the other people came back, the prankster played bear noises from the speaker (via Bluetooth) and scared everyone half to death. I think this was the best scare I’ve ever witnessed, mostly because folks thought it was a real bear. If these people thought it was real, chances are the children that go trick-or-treating will too! Maybe don’t use bear sounds though, I’m thinking some hellish screams or something.


Make Sure You’re Protected From The Hordes Of Undead With This Foam Axe

In my opinion, we should all be thinking of minute details when preparing Halloween decorations. One of the simplest ways to ramp up fear is to have a few of these foam weapons around. Here’s what I think: if you have a window near the door where the demon children will ring your doorbell, you should use this axe to pretend to murder someone. Swing the axe a few times, have someone splash fake blood on you, then finally answer the door. Or, you could just put a bunch of these next to your front door and grab one when you answer if you want to be less overtly violent. Your call.


Every Spooky House Needs A Few Skeletons Around

What’s Halloween without a few spooky skeletons hanging around? Not a Halloween that I want anything to do with, that’s for sure! This 5’4″ bag of bones fits perfectly into the horror scene I’m trying to help you create at your house. After all, not all Halloween decorations need to be gory, placate the masses with some of the classics!


This Massive Black Tapestry Is Perfect To Drape Over Your Doorways

And last, but certainly not least, is this creepy giant black tapestry. You will probably find uses for a couple of these, especially if you are trying to create an ominous space. Personally, I like to hang one of these up at the front door, so even when I open to greet the brave souls who made it that far, they won’t see inside my boring, undecorated house. Another great use for this is as a quick costume, but we have a bunch more costume recommendations here!


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